Everything You Could Possibly Want to Know About Buying From Us

 

First off,

If you have any questions, etc., please email. You can write in English, Italian, Spanish, French, Portuguese, Chinese or Japanese, and we will try to respond in kind. If you write in other languages, we will write back in English (unless you specify one of the above, other than English). Communication is important, so we always do our best to write back quickly and coherently, within one day.

 

All designs are printed on demand. This helps a lot, because it means that we can have the right products in the right colours ready to roll as quickly as possible.

 

How it works

 

Confirmation

When you place an order, we forward it to our manufacturer, and they confirm it (usually asking 3 times if your address is correct, so please make sure it is!) Once we have the workshop confirmation, we'll let you know straight away; usually same day, or the day after your purchase (if you order very late at night for us here in Sicily). Weekends take a tiny bit longer, since the folks in the workshop need a break sometimes, too.

 

Lead Time

Once we've had confirmation from the workshop, we’re into "Lead Time". This is the time required for the item to be made. The general rule is 3-7 days, but it is often shorter. Little things like watches, phone cases etc., take 2-3 days. Bags, Backpacks, etc., 3-5 days. For Clothing, 4-6 days. And Shoes (complicated beasties that they are) take 5-7 days.

 

Shipping Out

Once your item(s) is/are ready, they will be shipped directly to you from China. (By default) they’re shipped via EMS & 4PX (China Post). It's FREE, no matter how much you buy (within reason -- contact us for dropshipping/bulk rates if you want to buy a lot). Shipping can take 7-15 days AFTER the lead time (depending on your country's postal service and the time of year), guaranteed delivery, with tracking from the workshop to your door. To be on the safe side, assume 3 weeks to a month after ordering to get your stuff. This is mostly due to customs, so I’m sorry if that seems a bit long.

 

You can also opt for DHL express delivery (3-5 business days). It’s steeper than free, and may or may not be worth it, depending on how quickly you need to get your stuff. DHL also guarantees tracked delivery to your door. 

 

No matter which shipping option you choose, we will send you the tracking number. Keep it safe! If any problems arise, or if you need help deciphering the tracking information, we'll do our best to keep things on track and get your stuff to you, so please contact us.

 

For normal orders, customs charges tend to be rare, but if any arise, you will be responsible for them, so be aware of what your country may charge you for the privilege of propping up the world's economy buying things across arbitrary international trade borders imposed by high-falootin' trade agreements. The nations of the free world have to pay for their leaders' over-inflated salaries somehow. Imposing an excise on millions of little people is one way they can do that. (Ahem!) So please be aware that customs and excise can happen, and it will be your responsibility to pay it if it does.

 

Happy Happy Time

You can contact us at any time, before, during or after buying with us. When you get your stuff, we hope you're really pleased! If items are damaged, or if shipping takes longer than 30-45 days to arrive (not including lead time), contact us immediately, and we'll de return-and-refund or get a replacement sent out, whichever you prefer.  When your friends admire the things you've bought from us, we want you to be able to sing glowing praises of your whole experience with us.

 

N.B. (Nota Bene, Achtung, Important)!!

Unfortunately, because of the print-on-demand model, the workshop can't accept returns for wrong sizes or “I changed my mind” or “I wore it once and some dude puked on it” but when stuff gets damaged or lost in transit, we will leap in like a tiger/ninja to set it right.  

To minimise disappointment, please take measurements and be sure to request the right size and colour when ordering. A good way (for "wearables") is to measure your most comfortable similar item (lay it on a flat surface to measure it). Compare your measurement with the size chart and pick the best match. Sizes are US standard, and shoe sizes are international (the ones that look like "38" or "45"). Measurements are always more precise than "Small" or "XXXL", which mean vastly different things to different manufacturers. When in doubt, measure.

 

Bulk Orders or Special Requests

Because all items are print-on-demand, there's no minimum or maximum order. If you want 1,000 eyeball coasters for your wedding, that's totally possible (and we think, totally awesome!!)! Please contact us to discuss special requirements, bespoke designs, bulk order and drop shipping rates, etc.

 

We sincerely hope that you will enjoy your purchases with all your heart.  Thank you for your support!

In all seriousness….

 

The Lowest of Low — the music, the films, the videos, the artwork, the clothing designs, and even this website (these very words you’re reading right now, as well as all the other stuff, including sales fulfilment) is one woman.  It’s me. And I really do live in Sicily, in a house.

 

These activities are my sole source of income, and anything you do to support me in this crazy weirdness helps more than you can imagine.  And here’s why I’m mentioning that:

 

Customers have complained that I should be charging more for all this stuff, and that I’m selling myself short.  The quality of the clothing and bags and stuff is far above what they expected to receive (It’s true, I’ve bought a few of my own things before setting up this website, to check the quality so that I could sell them to other people in good conscience), and many people have warned me that my “stupidly affordable” prices probably drive some people away because they assume the stuff must be a bunch of junk.  It isn’t, but they don’t know that because they’re trained to expect to have to pay through the nose for good quality stuff.

 

In actual fact, before I moved to Sicily, I lived on an isolated hill farm in the middle of a forest in the North York Moors National Park, in England.  I kept some very wonderful goats, sweet little chickens, nice, well-mannered geese (yes! They do exist!) and some nutty ducks.  I made my own cheese and yogurt, grew my own apples and potatoes, ate wild food like nettles and forest mushrooms, and lived on very little.  Many winters, we were snowed in for about 3-4 months, so I used to make a large food order (with Suma, the whole foods cooperative) for the animals and for us to get us through.  I made my own hay by hand with a scythe, and because I’m not all that keen on motor vehicles, I did all the planting by hand. No tractors, no car.

 

So, in the past 20 years, I have not lived on more than £5,000 per year, even now that I live in Sicily. So I will admit that my idea of pricing and modern everyday expenses are a little… different.  In fact, my whole view of the world is a little different, and that’s why my music and everything else is so different, too.  It’s what my experience of life has to offer.

 

Because I live on “next to nothing”, I believe that, for my efforts, a 15% profit on my costs from the workshop will (eventually) be enough to keep me going.  It’s very early days still (I started all of this in 2018), and with the help of a growing number of enthusiastic fans and customers, I think the “vision” I have will actually work. 

 

A lot of people think it’s kind of crazy, but the idea is this:  lots of other “boutique” kind of places with their own distinctive designs are selling fancy goods at higher prices all over the web.  And the stuff I’m selling here is astonishingly well made. I’m told I could double my prices and no one would bat an eyelash, and in fact it might even attract more people to take a chance and buy something, because it’s more in line with what they expect.

 

But my perspective is this:  when I shop online, I can’t afford the things I like best (not talking ugly Gucci sneakers, just normal, fairly nice stuff).  Until I started designing in partnership with the workshop, I always settled for stuff that was affordable and not particularly nice.  I tried never to pay more than €5 or 10 for anything.  As global inflation changes, this has gone up slightly in recent years, but it’s still kind of where I’m at.  I still can’t afford a lot of the items in my own shop.  I rely on reports and (more importantly) photos from others in helping me to make sure the items I’m selling are “up to scratch”.

 

So incidentally, if you do buy something, please do write to me and send me photos, and give me honest feedback about the quality, the sizing, print quality, zippers and stitching or anything else that strikes you — for good or ill — about the item you’ve got.  It helps me to make sure everything in the shop is something I can stand behind, and to know that I’m delivering good value for people’s hard-earned money.

 

(I don’t use Redbubble, incidentally, because many people say their t-shirts, etc.,  are thin and the print fades rapidly.  I have an account with them, but none of this stuff is that stuff.  I don’t mean to cast any shade on Redbubble, I don’t have any direct experience of their stuff myself, but I’ve heard it enough to kind of avoid taking the chance with them).

 

And this is the point:  as someone who has to think very hard about how I spend my money, I want to create an outlet where people — whether they have a lot to spend or only a little — can afford something of high quality that’s going to last them a long time.  I want people to see something I’ve designed and get pleasantly surprised (for a change) that they can afford it.  I want them to take that chance, get pleasantly surprised, and wind up with something I’ve designed that brings them joy in their lives for a long time to come.

 

Bags that don’t fall apart after 3 months of daily use…. t-shirts that will withstand farm work and frequent washing for more than 6 months… warm hoodies that are actually f***ing warm…  Beautiful, zany (and well-made) things to brighten normal lives.

 

So… that’s me, that’s my idea.  I will be very grateful if you choose to help me to achieve it.